If you're looking for a slightly alcoholic psychopath girlfriend who has no filter, eats too much, and will highly likely beat the crap out of you at Super Smash Bros, then here I am.

No, your eyes are not broken, dear. I really have the natural face and body of a living goddess. If only I could have changed my name, I would choose Athena, but I thought that having a name and a body of a goddess is a bit redundant.

My dick may not be the largest you've ever seen, but my tits can definitely compete. You can enjoy them all you want plus a free access to my tight ass. Can you say no tomy offer?

I'm a woman with a dick. Is that okay with you? Don't you worry because even though I have a dick, I still know how to act like a woman and I certainly know how to properly take care of a man.

I don't know how to say this but I am actually a babe with a dick. Yes, you've read that right. Just so you know, I am proud of my dick because that's really useful in providing satisfaction and contentment to different men.

I am not looking for a handsome prince charming who will save me from my tower or a superhero who will take me to another world. As long as you've got a long shaft, we'll get along!

Whenever I am dancing in clubs, many men come near me assuming that I am a true-born woman. But when they start grinding with me and touching my body, they become startled because their hands are able to touch a dick instead of a pussy.

I love playing chess. The game doesn't allow you to undo any moves, but you can make the next step better. It's just like how real life works. Stop trying to fix the past and start making a better future.

I am sick and tired of these boring dildos and sex toys, give me some real dick to fuck with! Someone who knows how to satisfy my needs and thrusts real hard.